


Trying For Now

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Category: The Young Riders
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t want to go back.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trying For Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wendymypooh](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Wendymypooh).



> Written for Fandom Stocking 2013.

“I don’t want to go back.”

Jimmy stopped his horse and turned in the saddle to look at where Lou was staring over the desert.

“You don’t want to go back where?”

Lou sighed, looking down and playing with the reins in her hands. “To Sweetwater. To the Station.”

“Why not? That’s your home.”

Lou didn’t know how to explain everything she was feeling. She still didn’t look at Jimmy when she started talking. “These last two weeks in the desert, sleeping with our packs and just being out here, well, that’s felt more like home than any other place has lately. Out here, I was just able to be me and do the job we were hired to do. Going back to the Station means that I go back to having to be careful to hide who I am and deal with you avoiding me and Kid acting like an ass.”

He felt like he was being punched. “I don’t avoid you, Lou.”

“The hell you don’t.” Lou snapped. “Oh, you’ll work with me and talk with me when the others around, but if I come up on you alone, then you have some place else important to be.” She looked at him and then looked back down. “It’s like you’re two or three people when it comes to me. When the others are around, you’re my friend. When we’re on a job, just the two of us, you’re someone different, someone that I feel like I can get close to. But when we’re back in Sweetwater and we happen to end up alone, you act like horse with a piece of cactus in his ass. You can’t get away from me quick enough.” She shrugged. “I can’t go back to where I’m not wanted and I’m thinking of maybe going further West or back East. I can find work and I’ll send for Jeremiah and Theresa when I get settled in somewhere. I know that Teaspoon will help me if I ask him for a reference. Maybe I can contact Sam and Emma. They could probably use a hand out on their place.”

_Leaving. Lou was talking about leaving._

Jimmy turned his horse into hers, grabbing her horse’s head so that she wouldn’t be able to run off while he was trying to talk to her. With the fool things she was saying, he wasn’t sure that there was any other way to stop her from trying to bolt.

“Damn it, Lou. You have it all wrong and you’re not making any sense with those words of yours.”

He flinched a little when he saw the pain in her eyes. How she had kept all of that hidden from him for so long? Why hadn’t he been able to see it long before it got to where she was feeling like this?

“Lou… _Louise_ …” He sighed. “You know that I’m no good with words, but I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay. With me. God damn it, Louise, I want you so bad that it’s painful sometimes but I also don’t want to do anything to cause any problems.”

“Between the boys.”

“Between us. You’re my best friend and the girl I think I want to have in my life for the rest of it, but I know that somewhere, at some point, I’m going to screw something up and you’re going to be long gone before I can even think to fix it.” He frowned at her. “I know guns and stock and fighting, but I don’t know much about love or what makes a relationship work like what Sam and Emma have.”

“We ain’t never going to have what Sam and Emma have because we’re not Sam or Emma. We can only have whatever we make, Jimmy. But you’re not even willing to try and keep making yourself scarce! I’m only going to be long gone because you won’t even try to be with me like that.”

“I’m trying now, ain’t I?”


End file.
